“Why on earth would anyone send their kid away to boarding schools?!” is something I was asked many times during my career as a teacher at a prep school. Having lived in the boys dorm for nearly seven years, I could have given an array of answers to this question; however, I thought it my duty to remain diplomatic, so as not to offend the person asking the question, should they have a strong opinion one way or the other. My usual appropriately vague response was: “Some people feel it is a good opportunity for their child”. The truth is, there are numerous reasons why some parents or guardians send their children away to boarding school, and to go into each and every one would be a diatribe in and of itself. If you are a parent thinking of sending your child to a prep school, you may be facing the question yourself of whether or not to have your son or daughter board versus being a day student. Inevitably, you have read articles about this topic, or talked to friends about what they think.  Living at a boarding school has many benefits, and depending on what sources you have read, benefits can range from a child having a sense of increased independence to thriving in a highly structured environment. Those are rather textbook answers, and the glossy promotional magazines schools put out do not always display or discuss the real benefits to living at a boarding school during adolescence. From the perspective of someone who lived the life for many years, here are three hidden benefits to consider when you are pondering “to board or not to board”.

ABSENCE MAKES THE HEART GROW FONDER
You would be amazed how much your culinary skills will be appreciated after your child eats mass produced dining hall food for weeks at a time. No matter how good the school’s food is (and these days, boarding prep schools really do have excellent food!), nothing compares to the cuisine of home, which to a teenager, can taste like pure heavenly magic. Without getting to see your smiling face every day, your child will grow to miss you, and quite possibly, appreciate you tremendously because nothing compares to having daily contact with your parent. Parenting from a distance is easier in this modern age, courtesy of Skype and Facetime, but it still isn’t quite like the “real thing”, and for some families, this arrangement works best. You and your child can appreciate each other from afar without having any regular daily irritation that can come from being around each other 24/7. Suddenly, neither of you focuses on the idiosyncrasies that can annoy or the mundane details of daily life. Rather, you grow to appreciate the bigger picture, the personal achievements no matter how small and the time you do get to spend together, which is usually more enjoyable than you could imagine. I can’t tell you how many times I have heard teenagers say how much they enjoy seeing their parents and families yet think the arrangement of boarding school is definitely best for them. The aforementioned statements about food appreciation and increased parental appreciation are not imaginary: these were things students talked about with me on a regular basis over several years. These were thoughts they had and feelings they harbored. So, rather than seeming cruel to hand your child over to a school during tenuous years, sending your child to boarding school might be the best thing for your relationship and for your family.

LIFE SKILLS
What a child has to do for him or herself at a boarding school makes them incredibly self-reliant. THEY are responsible for washing their laundry. THEY are responsible for getting themselves food. THEY are responsible for getting up for class on time and being where they have to be when they have to be there. Watching teenagers develop a greater sense of their own abilities is a beautiful thing. When they don’t have a parent hovering over their shoulder monitoring their every move or nagging at their faults, some teenagers tend to thrive and quickly learn how to take care of themselves, which is something that will benefit them for the rest of their lives. Your child has no choice but to become entirely self-sufficient by necessity rather than by force or coercion. But, here’s the hidden benefit to their increased independence: as the parent, you won’t have to do the nagging, which means there can be less tension between parent and child and therefore, your relationship can be focused on the positive rather than the negative or the mundane. For many families, this is a “win-win” situation.

GLOBAL FRIENDSHIPS
Your child will make friends at any school, whether public or private; however, at a boarding school, odds are your child will meet and befriend children from all over the globe. This will exposure your child to other languages and customs they will get to live with on a daily basis, which can broaden his or her cultural horizons. The real hidden benefit though is the fact that your child will want to visit these friends in their home countries, meaning he or she will get to see various parts of the world at a relatively low cost. True, lasting friendships are wonderful and meaningful connections can be life-changing, but this is a chance for your child to become a world traveler who gets to truly live the cultural experience rather than simply be a tourist in a major city. As a parent, you can’t put a price on this opportunity. As a former dorm parent, I can attest to the fact that such visitations really do occur. Countless times, I have watched friendships blossom between American and International boarders in which they visited each other during school vacations, summers and even after graduation, at minimal cost to the traveling child, who stays with his or her friend’s family. So really, as a parent, you’re looking at the cost of airfare and spending money for your child to have an amazing journey to be remembered for a lifetime, and that can sound mighty appealing to many people!

These are just three of the hidden benefits to sending your child to boarding school. I’m certain now-grown boarding school students can give you other insight, but hopefully these three given from living the situation from an adult perspective can lend a little hand in your decision. Best of luck!

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